Song in the Night

Of Pearls and Oysters...

2010-01-13T15:44:00.000-08:00

I think the Christian treatment of trouble is splendidly illustrated by the oyster, into whose shell one day there comes a tiny grain of sand. By some strange circumstance, this tiny piece of quartz has entered into the shell of the oyster and there like an alien thing an intruder, a cruel, unfeeling catastrophe imposes pain, distress, and presents a real problem. What shall the oyster do?

Well, there are several courses open. The oyster could, as so many men and women have done in times of adversity and trouble, openly rebel against the sovereign providence of God.

The oyster, metaphorically speaking, could shake a fist in God's face and complain bitterly: "What should this have to happen to me? Why should I suffer so? What have I done to deserve this? With all the billions of oyster shells up and down the seaboard, why in the name of higher mathematics did this grain of sand have to come into my shell?" The oyster could conclude: "There is no justice. All this talk of a God of love and mercy is not true. Now, since this calamity has overtaken me, I'll throw away all the faith I ever had. It doesn't do any good anyway." Yes, the oyster could say that. So many men and women have in times of trouble.

But the oyster doesn't!

Or the oyster could say - again like some men and women when adversity strikes... "It can't be true! It isn't true. I must not permit myself to believe it." The oyster could say - as some of our very best people today are trying to say in the face of cruel circumstance: "There is no such thing as pain. It is an error of the mind, and I must, therefore, project my thoughts on positive planes of beauty, truth, and goodness, and if I fill my mind with such thoughts, then I shall know that pain is unreal."

But the oyster doesn't do that.

There is another attitude the oyster could adopt - a very commendable one - one that calls fora lot of fortitude and courage and determination. The oyster could say: "Now that this hard calamity has over taken me, this thing that hurts and cuts and stabs, this enemy that bruises and bleeds, now that this has come upon me, I must endure to the end. I must show them all that I can take it, and I won't give in. I will hold on if it kills me. I must remember that the darkest hour is just before the dawn."

Now, there is something noble in that, something praiseworthy in that attitude. But the oyster does not do that because the oyster is at one and the same time a realist as well as an idealist. There is no point in trying to deny the reality that tortures every nerve, so the oyster doesn't try. In spite of all the denial, nothing can change the fact that the grain of sand is there. Nor would grumbling or rebelling do any good, for after all the protests and complaints, the grain of sand would still be there.

No, the oyster recognizes the presence of the grim intruder, and right away begins to do something. Slowly and painfully, with infinite care, the oyster builds upon the grain of sand - layer upon layer of a plastic, milky substance that covers each sharp corner and coats every cutting edge... and gradually... slowly... by and by a pearl is made... a thing of wondrous beauty wrapped around trouble. The oyster has learned - by the will of God - to turn grains of sand into pearls, cruel misfortunes into blessings... pain and distress into beauty.

And that is the lesson that we are to lean along this pilgrim way. The grace of God, which is sufficient, will enable us to make of our troubles the pearls they can become. It is no mere figure of speech. It is something more than a simile to say that one enters Heaven through pearly gates -one enters into the presence of the Lord through gates bedecked with pearls, and every pearl - a trouble, a pain, a heartache, a misfortune, which, by the grace of God, has been changed into a beautiful, lovely thing.

-Peter Marshall

Little things...

2010-01-03T19:58:00.000-08:00

"...the compensatory intensification of delight in little things that comes when larger things have been renounced is God-given. Why should He have scattered such playthings as sunbeams and kittens along the thorny way if they were not to be exclaimed over and enjoyed?"

-Elizabeth Goudge

Green Dophin Street

Jen's reading list

2009-12-28T20:05:00.000-08:00

I decided to take Natalie up on her challenge - posting pictures of books I am currently reading and those I want to read. Oh, and I could mention that the want-to-read pile could, potentially reach to the ceiling - only I don't exactly own all of those want-to-read books to take a picture of... Not to mention that it would get tedious reading all of those titles in a pic where the books reached the ceiling...

Without further digression, here are my pics!

"Here's what I am reading"

The titles aren't all that easy to read in the picture; on the top is Gold by Moonlight by Amy Carmichael. This is one that I pick up when I need something quiet and comforting. A friend gave it to me years ago, and it's one of those books that you do not necessarily read all at once, but when you are in the mood for it. Written for "fellow toads under the harrow" this book has uplifting thoughts for painful times.

Next in the pile is Green Dolphin Street by Elizabeth Goudge. I love Elizabeth Goudge's characters, storylines, wording, setting, just about every aspect of her books. She has a lovely way with words, and I tend to keep a blank notebook by me when I am reading to jot down random quotes that grab me. So far this one has a bit of a frustrating plot - it is about two sisters with the same dream - and the scheming, manipulative sister appears to win over the sweet, noncompetitive one. Or, does she really? I'm waiting to discover how this book ends... As usual Elizabeth Goudge has some telling observations about human nature.

Next is War and Peace by Tolstoy. It sounds like a challenge but so far it really is a fairly easy read, my only trouble is keeping the numerous characters straight! During my winter break from school last year I read Anna Karenina in a couple of weeks, which is also by Tolstoy and comparable in length to War and Peace. Anna Karenina inspired my interest in Russian literature, which I had read little of previously. I'm still hoping to finish War and Peace on this winter break.

On the bottom is Disciplines of the Godly Woman by Barbara Hughes. This one is a reread that I have picked up on and off again since I was a teenager. It is divided into chapters such as "The Discipline of Prayer," "The Discipline of Submission," "The Discipline of Perseverance," and others, - all important characteristics to develop in the continual strive to be perfect; like our Father in heaven.

On the top is Mr. Jones, Meet the Master, which is a collection of Peter Marshall's sermons compiled after his death by his wife, Catherine Marshall. I read A Man Called Peter twice, and was drawn into the life story of this sincere and dedicated Scottish pastor. I have read other works by Catherine Marshall, such as Christy, Julie, and To Live Again, and love her books. I'm looking forward to reading this one, but will probably not read it all at once. I'm guessing I will read it like I read most devotional type books, here and there when the mood strikes me - with notebook and pen handy.

The Child from the Sea is another Elizabeth Goudge book, and one of the few left that I have not read.

Breaking free is by Beth Moore. I did one of her studies as a teenager, and the only other of her books I have read since is Praying God's Word. She seems to be good at identifying common footholds that Satan may have in a person's thought life, and directing thoughts to scripture to overcome those footholds, or "strongholds," as Beth Moore puts it.

The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky is one that I picked up last winter break and did not finish. I am going to have to begin again from the beginning in order to follow the plot and characters. As I remember, the book was thought provoking in how it portrayed human nature - even though I did not agree with all of Fyodor Dostoevsky's views. Still, it makes you think.

So - now that I have photo documentation I must follow up and finish! This winter break I have been sick more than I would have liked, still it's a mixed blessing because lack of energy to leave the house means there is more quiet time to read...

Well, that's my list. :) I'm interested in picking up some more ideas from other readers to add to my could-reach-the-ceiling pile of want-to-reads... ;)

Beneath the Cleansing Flood

2009-10-13T15:04:00.000-07:00

I accompanied for hymns at my church this past weekend and was confronted with one of those situations that makes most accompanists cringe; that is, when the congregation blissfully sings a song musically incorrectly. This particular instance was with the hymn, "O Victory in Jesus," in the eighth measure: "to save a wretch like me." The correct way to sing/play it, is dotted eighth note, sixteenth note, half note, quarter note. For those not musically inclined, it's something like this: "to saaveawretchhhh. Like-meee." The way the congregation actually sang it was half note half note half note half note, or somewhat like 'Save-A-Wretch-Like-Me.'

(Does that translation make any sense? ;))

Faced with the on-the-spot decision; should I continue playing the measure as written, correctly, albeit alone in the correctness? Or should I switch to their sung version, and if so, would I be encouraging musical incorrectness? Or, on the other hand, is correctness outweighed by how the hymn is traditionally sung?

Right or wrong, I decided to adapt to the congregation. I played while the congregation sang this measure in the next two verses as half note half note half note half note. And yes; I cringed every time.

I did some research later and discovered this measure adjustment was not unique to my church, but the song is often sung incorrectly. This musician followed a different course of action than I did - again making me consider which would be the best approach for the next time this happened.

Know what? I never did figure it out.

And know what else? I decided it doesn't matter all that much. Because if we are singing of victory in Jesus, the point isn't in how the song is being sung...the point is that there is, indeed, victory in Jesus.

(And it's okay if I still cringe, isn't it? ;))

O Victory in Jesus

I heard an old, old story,
How a Savior came from glory,
How He gave His life on Calvary
To save a wretch like me;
I heard about His groaning,
Of His precious blood's atoning,
Then I repented of my sins
And won the victory.

O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

I heard about His healing,
Of His cleansing pow'r revealing.
How He made the lame to walk again
And caused the blind to see;
And then I cried, "Dear Jesus,
Come and heal my broken spirit,"
And somehow Jesus came and bro't
To me the victory.

O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

I heard about a mansion
He has built for me in glory.
And I heard about the streets of gold
Beyond the crystal sea;
About the angels singing,
And the old redemption story,
And some sweet day I'll sing up there
The song of victory.

O victory in Jesus,
My Savior, forever.
He sought me and bought me
With His redeeming blood;
He loved me ere I knew Him
And all my love is due Him,
He plunged me to victory,
Beneath the cleansing flood.

Simpler Days

2009-08-16T18:26:00.000-07:00

We spent Saturday afternoon at my grandmother's house. She got out her old albums and boxes full of pictures and we lost track of time as we poured over the pictures of days gone by. With pictures scattered all over the living room, we asked my grandma to identify this person and that person. Interestingly, or ironically, the striking part of each picture was its very simplicity.

This picture is of my mother's parents with the first seven of their thirteen, yes, that was thirteen, children. Obviously, in the raising of such a large family, there were sacrifices. The family was far from well off, and they lived in a fairly small house in the country surrounded by farms. But they all worked hard, and they all loved to laugh and have fun.

It is interesting to compare today, complete with our economic "crisis," with those times. I think part of the problem for us today is that we have come to expect more in the way of "things" than our grandparents and great-grandparents did. When you compare our standard of living to that of many others in previous generations, and even today in other cultures, you have to wonder, are we really as badly off as the media would like us to think? Or is it just that we been spoiled to the extent of developing skewed ideas of what distinguishes between "necessities" and "luxuries?"

My mother's family worked hard for what they had. They didn't whine for what they didn't have. When my mother's brothers were old enough to be hired out, they worked for farms in the area - and then voluntarily handed nearly their entire salary to their father at the end of the week. When I compare this to many of the younger generation of today who are thankless for what their parents have invested in them, who seem to expect instant gratification as a right instead of a privilege, it boggles my mind.

I think part of our problem today is that our lifestyle is based on paradigms we have developed that were unrealistic in times past and may be unrealistic going forward. Who knows? It may be that the economy scare will provide enough of a jolt for many of us to return to a simpler lifestyle.

And that wouldn't necessarily be a bad thing.

Summer Days - 'lil bits of life

2009-07-28T17:50:00.000-07:00

"The earth is the Lord's and the fullness thereof, the world, and all who dwell therein."

-Psalm 24:1

"But now thus says the LORD, he who created you, O Jacob, he who formed you, O Israel: "Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; and through the rivers, they shall not overwhelm you; when you walk through fire you shall not be burned, and the flame shall not consume you."

- Isaiah 43:1-2

"Oh taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him."

-Psalm 34:8

has it really been this long? And yes, I'm still alive! :)

2009-06-19T18:34:00.000-07:00

I think in my last post I promised to post more often - only that was some 8 or 9 months ago... and, I ask, wherever did those months go??!!

Time just seems to whisk by these days!

Here's a few random "catch up" facts of what I'm up to now:

1) Derivatives. Logs. Integrals. Tangent lines. Ugh. Yes - I'm taking a summer calculus class! And already in over my head... as in, will bake cookes for tutor. (hehe). I'm grateful for a dad who has the math brain that somehow skipped me!

2) Music. Still involved in the music at church about 3 weeks a month. Also singing with the Sunday School aged kids. When I suggested to the children that they sing out, as in loud-enough-so-as-not-to-sound-totally-bored-yet-not-ear-splitting, they asked if they could "scream." Um, no. However, I did introduce a song in which there is a line "Praise Him with a shout!" and they are allowed to "shout" the word "shout." This has become their favorite song, and we now sing it often. As in: Every. Single. Week. Twice. Ah yes, fun! :) Oh, and their teachers, (one of whom is my mom) absolutely love me for it... ;)

3) Major switch. Right, from accounting to business. Never thought this would happen, and my accounting professor gave every evidence of being broken-hearted over it, but my motivation is that I graduate a semester earlier by switching. It was odd timing, immediately after a particularly intimidating accounting exam, and actually my fellow students told the professor that I switched because of his difficult exam. He took it personally. My poor professor.

4) Car. My Plymouth Breeze had come to the point where I refused to put any more money in it. It was time to find a more reliable car, yet one that would still fit in my small (think college student) budget. Well, my dad and I found a DEAL! Yes, we were so excited I bought the car on the spot, and post purchase realized that a) the A/C didn't work (minor detail, who needs it?) b) the windows stuck when you rolled them down (yikes don't like that one!) c) it smelled like cigarette smoke (somehow we didn't notice because of the DEAL) d) oh, and other things stick, such as the gear shift and the key, but if you wiggle them just long enough you can work with it. Anyway, what a DEAL! :D

5) Can't. Wait. For school to end. Oh, hang on, that one isn't new... :)

6) Hiking. Yes, I actually fit a hike in BEFORE finals this spring! :) (I was sore for two days, ahem, could that mean, out of shape?! I think possibly. :) )

7) Lots of other stuff. Yes, busy, busy. And honestly, since this has been a very difficult year, I wouldn't have it any other way. I think I needed every distraction I've had, even when I complain about the lack of sleep! I actually think that this has been a trend for me over the last few years, as in whenever I went through a particularly difficult time, it was also such a busy time that I didn't have too much extra time to think. And that's been a good thing. Anyway... I'm still taking it one day at a time. And in less than 365 of those days I will have graduated and will be looking for something else to keep me busy... :)

I've missed writing, and hope to post another update soon (say maybe a real blog post as opposed to this rather strange quick-facts-of-what-I've-been-up-to-blog-post).

And this time, I'm thinking soon will mean something less than the last 8 or 9 months that went by since my last post...

:)

Another Semester, oh joy! :D

2008-09-14T10:50:00.000-07:00

Ooh, it's the start of a new semester...

People ask me if I'm enjoying it, and I'll say, "well.. seriously... ummm...."

"not really?"

It's not that I don't like learning. It's not that I don't want a degree, it's not that I'm lazy. Well, not often lazy. :) It's not that I don't like balancing a job and school and homework and studying and church music ministry and and still trying to stay connected with my family.

No, no, not that I don't like it... ;)

I have to say though, I don't understand how working mothers do it! I don't! The most I try to manage my balancing act the more I am impressed with how working mothers keep their sanity. Like Sarah Palin, for instance. Now how can a woman have five kids and run for Vice President? I like her views, I appreciate her stances, I am very glad for a prolife candidate, but at the back of it all I wonder, how does she do it?

Gotta wonder.

Yeah, I like being back in school, I like staying busy. But you'd better believe that by the time I've started a family, I will be more than ready to let go of it all.

Yes. :)

Well, I'm off to finish my income tax and marketing study assignments. Not sure when I will post again but I will do my best to be more regular than I have been. Oh, and that last sentence was for you, Ginger. And for you, Aunt Laurie. ;)

Weekend!!!

2008-09-14T10:43:00.000-07:00

YEAH!!!

(that's it, but I'll be back... :) )

The Miracle of the Sunrise

2008-08-19T18:43:00.000-07:00

Today I got up early, and sat before my open bedroom window and watched the sun rise up above the hills and trees. Its light was softly glowing, long before it actually could be seen, and then suddenly, it burst forth upon the mountain tops, down into the valleys and into my window to shine across the room in such a radiant way that one could not help but feel the warmth shine right into the deepest parts of the heart.

It reminded me of another kind of sunrise: the sunrise that broke through one of the darkest and deepest of moments of my life. The sunrise that came slowly at first, so much slow that I could hardly dare to hope it would ever really come, and then, as if in time with a great unknown orchestra, it broke forth, sending it's bright and warming rays to the farthest corners of my heart. It did not take all the pain away, no, for pain is not a part of darkness, but the darkness, the deep black that blinded my eyes from seeing beyond the moment, was gone, and as I sat, quietly thinking of the road that I had travelled in the dark, I realized that it is true. Had it not been for the darkness, I could never have rejoiced as I do now in the breaking forth of the sunrise. Had there not been moments when by faith, I held on to what I knew was there but could not see, the sunrise would be but common place and ordinary. It was then that I realized that “We can only appreciate the miracle of a sunrise if we have waited in the darkness” (Unknown)

God has promised that every dark night has an end. There will be a sunrise, a glorious, beautiful sunrise someday. It might seem like the night will never end. Perhaps you'll only see the glorious dawning in the place where He makes all things beautiful, all wrongs right, but the morning will come. The darkest is before the dawn. Just hold on a little longer, because the morning is coming, and the sunrise will be worth it all.
- by Chantel Harding

(From the ylcf blog) http://blog.ylcf.org/2008/08/miracle-of-sunrise.html

His House

2008-08-02T16:06:00.000-07:00

"Imagine yourself as a living house. God comes in to rebuild that house. At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on; you knew that those jobs needed doing and so you are not surprised.

But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make sense. What on earth is He up to?

The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra floor there, running up towers, making courtyards. You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage: but He is building a palace. He intends to come in and live in it Himself."

-C. S. Lewis

Refuge in the Heat

2008-07-19T10:36:00.001-07:00

"How precious is Your lovingkindness, O God!

And the children of men take refuge in the shadow of Your wings."

-Psalm 36:7

"O taste and see that the LORD is good;

How blessed is the man who takes refuge in Him!"

-Psalm 34:8
"How great is Your goodness,

Which You have stored up for those who fear You,

Which You have wrought for those who take refuge in You,

Before the sons of men!"
-Psalm 31:19

"But let all who take refuge in You be glad,

Let them ever sing for joy;

And may You shelter them,

That those who love Your name may exult in You."

-Psalm 5:11
"Trust in Him at all times, O people;

Pour out your heart before Him;

God is a refuge for us."
-Psalm 62:8

All Day, Every Day

2008-06-14T13:24:00.000-07:00

"Lead me in your truth and teach me, for you are the God of my salvation;
for you I wait all the day long."
-Psalm 25:5

"About Benjamin he said:
'Let the beloved of the LORD rest secure in him,
for he shields him all day long,
and the one the LORD loves rests between his shoulders.'"
-Deuteronomy 33:12

"All day long there is the pressure of life, and perhaps some inner strain to the spirit known only to God. But all the day long, too, there is the lovingkindness of God. And so all the day long there the peace that passes all understanding."
-Amy Carmichael

We often speak of how quickly time goes by. Yet there are many days and seasons that just seem to drag slowly. It sounds ironic, but the years that seem to pass in the blink of an eye are comprised of many long, long days.

Sometimes we just need to take a deep breath, and realize that it's only one day at a time. And throughout each day we are sustained by His lovingkindness and shielded by His hand.

And one day we will look back and marvel, both at how His hand helped us...

and by how quickly the time flew by! ;)

Further Adventures of Gideon: In Which Gideon Attacks the Bumblebee

2008-06-05T18:58:00.000-07:00

When I got home from work today I was greeted by Gideon and Lucky, our two dogs. Gideon enthusiastically greeted me and then started jumping all over the front step while whining continuously. I noticed a dead bumblebee on the step. Gideon pounced on it, then whined, then jumped back as with a reflex, then pounced again. I tried to calm him down by bringing him in the house, but I could not drag his attention away from the dead bee. Finally, I scuffed it into the flower bed with my foot, and pushed some dirt over it. Still Gideon crazily tried to paw at the ground to get that bee.

Later I told my sister Megan about his strange behavior. "He was probably stung by the bee and wanted to protect you from it." she explained. "You think so?" I asked. "Because it was... already dead."

Awww. The gallantry of the timid dog attacking his greatest fear for the sake of another person. Only he was wasting his energy. The bee was already dead.

Sound typical?

Food for thought: I wonder how many of my battles I fight fiercely and fearfully -- over a "dead bumblebee." How much energy do I waste wrestling over things that my Lord already has competely under His control? How much time do I waste digging up the dead bee to fight with again? How often has my Lord resolved my battles for me when yet I consider them unfinished, then drag them out to use up my energy all over again?

I'm not sure that Gideon learned a lesson from this ;), but I think I did.

Lord, grant me the wisdom to know which battles You would have me spend my energy on, and help me to leave the "dead bumblebees" alone!

See the Horse, See the Dog, See the Vet Bill

2008-06-02T15:27:00.000-07:00

See the horse. The horse's name is Trigger. Trigger likes to eat grass. Trigger likes to trample the garden. Trigger broke through his gate so he could trample the garden.

See the dog. The dog's name is Lucky. Lucky likes to bark. Lucky likes to run. Lucky likes to

attack anything that moves. Porcupines move. Lucky got a mouthful of porcupines quills for the fifth time in his *known* career. Lucky had to go to the ER vet clinic to be sedated and have his quills removed.

See this dog. The dog's name is Gideon. Gideon also likes to bark and run. But Gideon likes to jump THROUGH glass windows. Gideon wanted to go outside. Gideon was impatient. SO GIDEON CHEWED, CLAWED, AND SPLINTERED THE WOOD SURROUNDING THE GLASS WINDOW UNTIL HE COULD BREAK THROUGH. Gideon now had a cut paw. Gideon is wearing a pretty yellow bandage.

*And all in the same day.* My. Oh. My.

P.S. And the addendum to that story would be "See Jen. See Jen try to handle these animals alone while her family is in Virginia. See Jen slowly lose her mind. Poor Jen."

;)

The Post instead of a Post

2008-05-29T19:38:00.000-07:00

Well I attempted to write a post tonight... ;) The result thus far is an unfinished rambling post about work and the frustrations thereof . It just doesn't seem to get anywhere... although I did have a clear idea in my head of where I wanted to go with it! And it's still there, in my head, needing to be translated to my fingers and the keyboard.

So -- you may be seeing it (it meaning the aforesaid post about work and frustrations thereof - ;) ) , once my brain is somewhat less fried, and my thoughts are clearer. Hopefully it won't ramble... too much. :)

I will share the verse that has been in my head this week:

"Yet in all these things we are more than conquerors through Him who loved us."
-Romans 8:37 (love this whole chapter, and book, actually!)

I love the word imagery. More than conquerors. The battle is won. Through Him who loved us. Now this is a comfort - considering life and its constant and numerous frustrations!

And so we wait in anticipation, fight our battles with confidence, and live our daily lives in obedience to Him.

One day at a time.

:)

Just for Laughs...

2008-05-24T18:10:00.000-07:00

P. G. Wodehouse makes me laugh so hard! Gotta love that Brit humor... and I generally do! :)

I finished Money in the Bank recently and had to keep jotting down favorites. Rest assured, this odd assortment does all fit together in the book! ;) And only Wodehouse could tie together a lovestruck young man posing as a detective, a forgetful uncle and his missing diamonds, a retired big-game hunter turned vegetarian and her vegetarian community, and a determined girl who is engaged to the wrong man.

Not convinced? Well, read the book, and if you still don't get it just blame my quirky sense of humor. Along with Wodehouse's. ;)

"He was still quite at a loss to understand how the ghastly things had happened. The facts seemed to suggest that he must have let fall some passing remark which had given the girl the impression that he was proposing to her, but he had no recollection of having done anything so cloth-headed."

"[She] turned her natural energies, until then expended in keeping a husband in order, in the direction of roaming, rifle at the ready, the wilder portions of Africa."

"Love, he felt, and he was a man who had thought about these things, should not manifest itself in such a strongly-marked inclination, when in the presence of the adored object, to stand on one leg and twiddle the fingers."

"It always interests a girl to re-examine a man, who, so she has been assured since her last meeting with him, has fallen in love with her at first sight. She found herself feeling kindly and well-disposed towards him. She liked people to like her - or, if they preferred it, to love her."

"It is always disconcerting for a young man to learn that he is enjoying the hospitality of a woman who is anxious to strangle him with her bare hands."

"You are being cheated out of what should be one of your most beautiful memories. Seeing me for the first time marks an epoch in most people's lives. They live over the moment again, to cheer themselves up in moods of depression."

"That, he concluded, becoming profound, 'is the whole trouble with fellers like Lionel Green. If you see one without actually wanting to kick him, you think, "This must be love."'

"I don't know how well you understand Rugby football, but I was what is known as a scrum-half. It fell to me to fling myself on the ball when the blighters wheeled and came away with it at their toes. In future, I shall collect old china."

"'And by the way, did I ever tell you how I became the hero of the school?'
'No. And I don't want you to.'
'It was during the great football match of the season against St. Ethelberta's, a girl's school...it was nearly at the end of the game and we were leading by the narrowest of margins. Then all of a sudden their captain broke loose with the ball under her arm, a large, spectacled girl called Flossie, and no one between her and the goal line but me. The question naturally arose "Will J. G. Miller prove equal to this emergency?" and all through the crowd it was recognized as a very moot point. Well, to cut a long story short I didn't. I let her through, and she crossed the line and we lost. I shall never forget that day.'
'And that made you the hero of the school?'
'Of the other school. Of St. Ethelberta's.'"

"For if we look askance at the wretch who sells himself for gold, how much more do we recoil from him who allows himself to be bought with pork pies."

"The man who refuses to go into his aunt's study and delve into stuffed antelopes is a man who, if he declines to apprehend burglars in a wardrobe, does so from dastardly motives."

"[Mrs. Molloy] told me he was going to search my room, of all dashed impertinence, so I lay in wait for him, pounced on him, and he told me all about his mustache. He's a spy in the pay of Trumper."

"You say Anne won't speak to you. I don't suppose you give her a chance."

"It is much simpler if, when you are playing the piano, and a man you dislike extremely asks you if you are playing the piano, to go on playing the piano, so that he can see for himself."

"Few things are more difficult than to pour out your heart to a girl who is racing along a corridor ahead of you."

"A woman who wishes to settle in Kent is faced with two alternatives. Either she must refrain from strangling people, or she must go somewhere else."

"It's pretty tough for girls, isn't it? They start out dreaming that some day they will marry a Prince Charming, and they wind up with fellows like me."

"'I love you' said Jeff
'That's the way to talk,' said Anne.
'I shall never love anyone but you.'
'Better and better.'
'Did you know that ants run faster in warm weather?'
'No, really? Faster than what?'
'Faster than other ants in cold weather.'"

You Shall Have a Song...

2008-05-21T14:50:00.000-07:00

"You shall have a song as in the night when a holy feast is kept,

and gladness of heart,

as when one sets out to the sound of the flute

to go to the mountain of the LORD,

to the Rock of Israel." -Isaiah 30:29

I first stumbled across this verse something over a year ago. I was in the middle of a very difficult semester, and as per doctor's orders had to cut classes (including a midterm!) for a week because of illness.

My "night" seemed dark in many different ways.

When I came across this verse in Isaiah (one of my favorite books!) the imagery captured my imagination. I thought of a tossing, turning, sleepless, pain-filled, seemingly endless night. The desparate tears begin to spill, and it feels, so, alone.

Then -- just when all seems so hopeless; a beautiful soft strain of music is heard. Gently it steals in, then gradually becomes clearer and increases in beauty. Soon the darkness is hardly noticed anymore. As for the loneliness, well, it's gone.

Because He is present with His song. And His presence in the night makes all the difference.

Like a child fearful of the dark runs to her mother's bed, we can find security in Him. Even when our night seems to never end.

I think everyone has a "night." It could be painful circumstances, it could be illness, it could be long, lonely waiting, it could be, well, almost anything that seems "dark" in our lives.

But the darkness allows us to focus on the beautiful harmony of His song. And He does promise us a song.

If we only listen.

Update

2008-05-19T17:15:00.000-07:00

Rather than restate myself. :) I'm linking to an update on my former blog: http://inhispresenceis.blogspot.com/2008/05/back-again.html

And I wanted to leave you with a verse:

"By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me—
a prayer to the God of my life."
-Psalm 4:8

I'll be sharing more on the significance of His song in the night in my own journey, but I'll save it for another day. :)

So, I will be back, and may He bless you and allow you to hear songs in the night!

Don't Let Me Miss It...

2008-03-11T18:26:00.000-07:00

I love this song:

I've been so very tired lately. Every day I look for signs of spring; I'm longing for it. At the end of a long difficult winter the hope of spring is so refreshing... especially since it usually comes at the end of a stressful semester! I am looking ahead, wistfully, but right now the season (and the weather!) is still winter. And I am living in the present. I don't want my exhaustion and down moods and wishes and burnout to cause me to miss out on savoring life now. I want to live life to the hilt... even in a long cold winter. I want to seize opportunities, and I want to enjoy the ones that may not be there later on. I'm in a season that is fleeting, and I refuse to allow myself to slowly drag through what is left of it. There's more to life than that.

No, I don't want to miss the glory. I'm tired, yes. I'm ready for spring, yes. But this cannot keep me from adding my voice to that of all creation praising to the honor of His name. With His strength, I won't miss it.

"Don't Let Me Miss the Glory"

-Carl Cartee

"In the view from the mountains

There's a story to be told
In the crashing of the ocean
There's a power that no man will ever hold.
All the stars in the heavens

Decorate your handiwork
And like a mighty choir

They come to celebrate Your work

Don't let me miss the glory
Don't let me miss the praise
That all creation is singing
To the honor of your name

Don't let me miss the wonder
Don't let me miss the grand design
In the lightning and the thunder
Lord, open up my eyes
Don't let me miss the glory

The cry of a baby
The laughter of love
In the dance of the faithful

You will find the greatness of our God above
In the prayer of the righteous
In the beauty of your grace
In a brand new morning's mercy
All your memories of my sin have been erased

Don't let me miss the glory
Don't let me miss the praise
That all creation is singing
To the honor of your name

Don't let me miss the wonder
Don't let me miss the grand design
In the lightning and the thunder
Lord, open up my eyes
Don't let me miss the glory"

Today...

2008-02-21T18:57:00.000-08:00

"We know that we have today to move with resolute energy toward maturity and Christlikeness."

-Josh Harris

<3

2008-02-13T19:10:00.000-08:00

"I have loved you with an everlasting love,
Therefore I have continued my faithfulness to you."
-Jeremiah 31:3

"Because you are precious in my eyes, and honored,
And I love you."
-Isaiah 43:4a

"A new commandment I give to you,
That you love one another:
Just as I have loved you,
You also are to love one another.

By this all people will know that you are my disciples
If you have love for one another."
-John 12:34-35

Peace, My Child

2008-02-08T18:24:00.000-08:00

I truly believe there are times when His words to the sea "Peace, be still!" echoe again in our hearts, but we fail to recognize it. Agonizing and worrying over burdens hide the "stillness" that is His gentle promise to us.

I know, personally, I become so caught up in daily life that I forget how all of life should be centered around Him, and I lose the peace and tranquility I could have been blessed with. That is when He gets my attention in a way that I can't miss. Usually a painful way. Usually a way that brings me to my knees in an earnest helpless seeking that I have neglected for far too long. Usually tears are involved, usually pleas. Yet through it all He gently reminds me; "Daughter, you needed this. You were forgetting about Me." And even if His answer is not the one I wanted, His peace that passes all understanding does eventually come to guard my heart and mind.

I do tend to worry far too much, and especially for a daughter who has everything in the hands of a great and loving Father. Often I need to read over the words; "In returning and rest shall you be saved, in quietness and confidence will be your strength." (Isaiah 30:15)

Rest, and quiet. Returning, and confidence. Rest of a burdened, fretting, over-analyzing mind. Quietness softly creeping back into a troubled heart. A return; to the One who in fact blessed us with this trial that we might return in the first place. Confidence. A peaceful and quiet confidence, yet still certain and boldly non-hesitant. All gifts from the Father - Who holds the answer in His hands.

Don't misunderstand; I am not saying His gift to a troubled heart is always necessarily passive. Peace is often present in activity, yet it is a serene presence. And he gives ability to remain serene through heart-wrenching pain.

But first, we need to be still...

At His feet.

The Darkness - His Covering

2008-01-23T08:15:00.000-08:00

"11He made darkness His covering,

His canopy around him,

thick clouds dark with water.

12Out of the brightness before Him hailstones

and coals of fire broke through His clouds.

13The LORD also thundered in the heavens,

and the Most High uttered His voice,

hailstones and coals of fire.

14And He sent out his arrows and scattered them;

He flashed forth lightnings and routed them.

15Then the channels of the sea were seen,

and the foundations of the world were laid bare

at Your rebuke, O LORD,

at the blast of the breath of Your nostrils.

16He sent from on high, he took me;

he drew me out of many waters.

17He rescued me from my strong enemy

and from those who hated me,

for they were too mighty for me.

18They confronted me in the day of my calamity,

but the LORD was my support.

19He brought me out into a broad place;

He rescued me, because He delighted in me."

-Psalm 18: 11 - 19

"28For it is You who light my lamp;

the LORD my God lightens my darkness.

29For by You I can run against a troop,

and by my God I can leap over a wall.

30This God—His way is perfect;

the word of the LORD proves true;

He is a shield for all those who take refuge in Him."

-Psalm 18:28-30

There are times when all seems so very dark. The black clouds are so thick light cannot penetrate, until the hailstones come pelting down and the furious lightning cracks. All feels, so alone, and fearful, and the voice of God isn't audible.

Yet He makes the darkness His covering; concealed in this darkness is God Himself...

Those dark times, those lost, alone times are often those we look back on as times of our greatest spiritual growth. The dark not only makes us aware of how much we need the light, but also, perhaps, allows Him to creep in, subtley - at times when we need Him the most.

Then He draws us out of the many waters, and lightens our darkness. We are rescued, invigorated, and strengthened - and by our God we can leap over a wall.

The darkness causes fear and helplessness, yet it allows our God to creep in and rescue us - right at the perfect time when we need Him the most.

And then finally, His light breaks through the clouds.

Embrace the Joy, Embrace the Pain

2008-01-07T10:50:00.000-08:00

"If we do not embrace the path of joy-laden, painful love, we will waste our lives."
-John Piper

The Garden of My Soul

2008-01-02T11:40:00.000-08:00

"Fill the garden of my soul
with the winds of love,
that the scents of the Christian life may be
wafted to others;
then come and gather fruits to Thy glory.
So shall I fulfill the great end of my being -
To glorify Thee and be a blessing to men."

-compiled by Arthur Bennet in The Valley of Vision

2007-10-15T08:36:00.000-07:00

"But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable,

gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits,

impartial and sincere.

And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace

by those who make peace."

-James 3:17-18

Except at the Cost...

2007-09-20T17:58:00.001-07:00

"One cannot love God except at the cost of oneself."
-Mother Theresa

Theme of my Song

2007-08-28T08:36:00.000-07:00

"For I delight in your commands

because I love them"

-Psalm 119:47

"Your decrees are the theme of my song
wherever I lodge. "
-Psalm 119:54

"Your statutes are my heritage forever;
they are the joy of my heart.

My heart is set on keeping your decrees
to the very end."
Psalm 119:111-112

I used to groan internally when I reached Psalm 119, it seemed such a chore to read through it! :) Obviously my heart was not fixed on enjoying His word - it might have run more to the must-finish-reading-Bible-in-one-year mentality. I'm not sure when He opened my eyes to the beauty in this chapter, (it may have been gradual) but it's now one that I love. Psalm 119 is such a beautiful reminder of how delightful His law and commands are! (Ironically in opposition to my original attitude. :) )

David sees His Lord's commands as a continual source of joy! He sings of the joy in following God's law, delight in His decrees, God's word as the theme of his song. We follow His laws as our duty, yes, but too much focus on duty blurs the delight! His word can be the joy of our hearts, the theme of our song!

Serving a King is not a chore to the servant who has love for his Master - rather, it is his joy to anticipate and fulfill the King's every desire. We find joy in service to our King, and His law itself is an endless source of joy and delight - because it shows us how we can serve Him more.

What Greater Portion

2007-08-23T09:19:00.000-07:00

"'The LORD is my portion,' says my soul, 'therefore I will hope in Him.'"
-Lamentations 3:24

What greater portion is there -
than You, Oh God,
My cup overflows with Your grace

How can I get enough of
Your beauty, my LORD
My longing is to gaze on Your face

My hope is in You,
My desire for You,
Lord - in You let me delight

My sacrifice to You is
a broken spirit
May it be pleasing dear Lord, in Your sight.

Lord! I love You!
Increase my love!
Let this heart always be full -

You are the Source
of this love in my heart
Blessed Portion! My Lord, strength of my soul.

His Dwelling Place, Our Longing

2007-08-20T07:47:00.000-07:00

"How lovely is Your dwelling place, O LORD of hosts!

My soul longs, yes, faints for the courts of the LORD;
my heart and flesh sing for joy to the living God."
-Psalm 84:1-2

"Heaven is not here, it's There. If we were given all we wanted here, our hearts would settle for this world rather than the next. God is forever luring us up and away from this one, wooing us to Himself and His still invisible Kingdom, where we will certainly find what we so keenly long for."
-Elisabeth Elliot

No Boundaries

2007-08-16T08:02:00.000-07:00

"Your own eyes shall see this, and you shall say,
'Great is the LORD beyond the border of Israel!'"
-Malachi 1:5

Isn't this an encouragement? Great He is... beyond the borders we set for Him! Our Lord cannot be put in a box, His actions can not be predicted, His thoughts not comprehended.
This is why our hearts cry out to know Him more - because He cannot be fathomed. We can constantly come to know more of Him, yet never completely know Him.

So often we thank Him for not answering our prayers according to our original desires, because He came up with an answer that was beyond our imagination! Our minds have borders, our God does not.

"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen."
-Ephesians 3:20-21

He is the Gladness of our Rejoicing

2007-08-15T15:49:00.000-07:00

"Then I will go to the altar of God,
to God my exceeding joy,
and I will praise you with the lyre,
O God, my God."
-Psalm 43:4

"The final goal of life is not forgiveness or any of God’s good gifts. The final goal of life is God himself, experienced as your exceeding joy. Or very literally from the Hebrew, “God, the gladness of my rejoicing.” That is, God, who in all my rejoicing over all the good things that he had made, is himself, in all my rejoicing, the heart of my joy, the gladness of my joy. Every joy that does not have God as the central gladness of the joy is a hollow joy and in the end will burst like a bubble. "
-John Piper

I love his term, "God, the gladness of my rejoicing." It's beautiful, jubilant, wonderous and mind boggling all at the same time. This God, our God, our Master, our Salvation, our Healer, our Comforter, our Peace, and at the same time our ecstatic joy! What joy there is in serving Him, and simply worshiping at His feet! May He always be your source of joy, and may the gladness of your rejoicing in Him always bubble over!

God bless you. :)

Lo, I Am with You

2007-08-14T09:19:00.000-07:00

"Peace, my child, dry your eyes,
Come and rest by My side
Let your burdens take flight from you
All your questions of 'Why'
Just lay them aside
For lo, I am with you

Always I'll be the One there for thee
To guard and to guide
Trust in my ways and there will be a day
When you will know why

Though the way is unclear
And all hopes turn to fears
And you don't know what to do
Lift up your eyes
Fix your gaze on the Light
For lo, I am with you"

-Aaron Hoffman
Misty Hollow Music

Song from the Bog

2007-08-12T16:43:00.000-07:00

"Save me, O God! For the waters have come up to my neck. I sink in deep mire, where there is no foothold; I have come into deep waters, and the flood sweeps over me. I am weary with my crying out; my throat is parched. My eyes grow dim with waiting for my God." -Psalm 69:1-3

"I waited patiently for the LORD; he inclined to me and heard my cry. He drew me up from the pit of destruction, out of the miry bog, and set my feet upon a rock, making my steps secure.
He put a new song in my mouth, a song of praise to our God.Many will see and fear, and put their trust in the LORD." -Psalm 40:3

I love reading these two Psalms together. Psalm 69 is a cry from the mire, anguish from the depths, a plea for soul restoration - eyesight fading while waiting for God. Psalm 40 to me shows the blessed peace and joy reaped from waiting on God even in the midst of these heartrending troubles. Even if our eyes are going dim from waiting for our God, if we continue to wait patiently for Him without loosing heart He WILL restore our souls and put a new song on our lips. A song of praise to our God, our Redeemer, the Lover of our Soul.

The One who is there even in the depths of the slimy icky mud, is also the One who lifts us out of the bog setting us safely on a firm rocksolid foundation. This God, our God, our very present help in trouble. Not only is He our help in trouble, but He is present in our trouble!

Whatever anguish and pain may keep casting us into a bog cannot keep us from safety in Him, as long as we trust and wait patiently He is there to support and save.

And what can our response be other than that of a song of praise to our God?

Soaring

2007-08-06T19:02:00.000-07:00

Amy Carmichael: "Father, I'm not soaring today. Help me."

God: "Daughter, soaring is not always flying high above the world. Sometimes one is soaring only two feet above the ground, just enough to keep you from getting tangled in the thorns and crashing against the rocks."

Sustaining through the Wind

2007-07-25T10:36:00.000-07:00

"Awake, O north wind, and come, O south wind!
Blow upon my garden, let its spices flow.

Let my beloved come to his garden,
and eat its choicest fruits."
-Song of Solomon 4:16

"Never does He call the north wind, or any other wind, to blow upon His garden without coming Himself."
-Amy Carmichael, Whispers of His Power

The north wind is blowing, Lord. It's really cold in here. Be present, Father, even while the wind blows. And please Lord, let not this wind blow for nothing - let it yield a bountiful spice harvest. Uphold me through this refining. Your will be done.
In Jesus' name,
Amen

Isaiah 40:28-31

2007-07-17T17:05:00.000-07:00

Do you not know? Have you not heard?
The LORD is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and his understanding no one can fathom.

He gives strength to the weary
and increases the power of the weak.

Even youths grow tired and weary,
and young men stumble and fall;

But those who hope in the LORD
will renew their strength.
They will soar on wings like eagles;
they will run and not grow weary,
they will walk and not be faint."

Song in the Night

2007-07-12T16:37:00.000-07:00

Night

Alone

Dark

Quiet yet fearful

Restless, agony

Tossing, turning, exhausted,

Burdens, no rest

Frustration, tears

Sorrow

Alone

Pain.

Hint

Of a Presence

Soft

Ray of Light

Burdens gently lifted

Peace, quiet peace

A melodic strain

Of a Song

His Song

in the

Night

Psalm 42:8

2007-07-11T17:23:00.000-07:00

"By day the LORD commands his steadfast love,
and at night his song is with me,
a prayer to the God of my life."