I finished Money in the Bank recently and had to keep jotting down favorites. Rest assured, this odd assortment does all fit together in the book! ;) And only Wodehouse could tie together a lovestruck young man posing as a detective, a forgetful uncle and his missing diamonds, a retired big-game hunter turned vegetarian and her vegetarian community, and a determined girl who is engaged to the wrong man.
Not convinced? Well, read the book, and if you still don't get it just blame my quirky sense of humor. Along with Wodehouse's. ;)
"He was still quite at a loss to understand how the ghastly things had happened. The facts seemed to suggest that he must have let fall some passing remark which had given the girl the impression that he was proposing to her, but he had no recollection of having done anything so cloth-headed."
"[She] turned her natural energies, until then expended in keeping a husband in order, in the direction of roaming, rifle at the ready, the wilder portions of Africa."
"Love, he felt, and he was a man who had thought about these things, should not manifest itself in such a strongly-marked inclination, when in the presence of the adored object, to stand on one leg and twiddle the fingers."
"It always interests a girl to re-examine a man, who, so she has been assured since her last meeting with him, has fallen in love with her at first sight. She found herself feeling kindly and well-disposed towards him. She liked people to like her - or, if they preferred it, to love her."
"It is always disconcerting for a young man to learn that he is enjoying the hospitality of a woman who is anxious to strangle him with her bare hands."
"You are being cheated out of what should be one of your most beautiful memories. Seeing me for the first time marks an epoch in most people's lives. They live over the moment again, to cheer themselves up in moods of depression."
"That, he concluded, becoming profound, 'is the whole trouble with fellers like Lionel Green. If you see one without actually wanting to kick him, you think, "This must be love."'
"I don't know how well you understand Rugby football, but I was what is known as a scrum-half. It fell to me to fling myself on the ball when the blighters wheeled and came away with it at their toes. In future, I shall collect old china."
"'And by the way, did I ever tell you how I became the hero of the school?'
'No. And I don't want you to.'
'It was during the great football match of the season against St. Ethelberta's, a girl's school...it was nearly at the end of the game and we were leading by the narrowest of margins. Then all of a sudden their captain broke loose with the ball under her arm, a large, spectacled girl called Flossie, and no one between her and the goal line but me. The question naturally arose "Will J. G. Miller prove equal to this emergency?" and all through the crowd it was recognized as a very moot point. Well, to cut a long story short I didn't. I let her through, and she crossed the line and we lost. I shall never forget that day.'
'And that made you the hero of the school?'
'Of the other school. Of St. Ethelberta's.'"
"For if we look askance at the wretch who sells himself for gold, how much more do we recoil from him who allows himself to be bought with pork pies."
"The man who refuses to go into his aunt's study and delve into stuffed antelopes is a man who, if he declines to apprehend burglars in a wardrobe, does so from dastardly motives."
"[Mrs. Molloy] told me he was going to search my room, of all dashed impertinence, so I lay in wait for him, pounced on him, and he told me all about his mustache. He's a spy in the pay of Trumper."
"You say Anne won't speak to you. I don't suppose you give her a chance."
"It is much simpler if, when you are playing the piano, and a man you dislike extremely asks you if you are playing the piano, to go on playing the piano, so that he can see for himself."
"Few things are more difficult than to pour out your heart to a girl who is racing along a corridor ahead of you."
"A woman who wishes to settle in Kent is faced with two alternatives. Either she must refrain from strangling people, or she must go somewhere else."
"It's pretty tough for girls, isn't it? They start out dreaming that some day they will marry a Prince Charming, and they wind up with fellows like me."
"'I love you' said Jeff
'That's the way to talk,' said Anne.
'I shall never love anyone but you.'
'Better and better.'
'Did you know that ants run faster in warm weather?'
'No, really? Faster than what?'
'Faster than other ants in cold weather.'"